What you are looking at is my right leg/shoe and some guy who delicately placed his two fingers on my toe. This happened at a Chicago Bears preseason game a month back. I was just sitting there enjoying my coke and game when this guy puts his arm around his girl. But he wasn’t really watching where his hand ended up and he just placed it on my foot.
This is very similar to those times that you stretch out your legs under a table at a restaurant or something and you think you are resting your foot up against the table leg, when it’s really the person sitting across from you. Normally when this happens the other person moves her foot, you apologize and she (to break the tension) makes some joke about you trying to play “footsie” …if that’s even a real thing.
When Rico Suave put the moves on his girl and incidentally put the moves on my shoe at the same time I didn’t know what to do. I froze. Actually, I didn’t freeze, I got my phone out to take a picture of what was happening. This is proof that my life is just one awkward scene to the next and I’m just trying to scrape by without hugging anyone or getting my face touched.
But in the very act of capturing this awkward moment on my phone, I managed to make the situation even more awkward. Because now, he’s been sitting with his hand on my shoe by well over a minute (I also silently pointed out this fact to my friends that I was with). So at this point it’s just a matter of simple choice. Do I slowly move my foot out from under this guy’s hand hoping he won’t notice and avoid eye contact at all cost? Do I get my foot out of there quick like a band-aid? Or do I just keep that position until he gets tired of his arm being in that particular position and hope in the mean time he doesn’t realize what’s been going on.
I chose to move my foot out fast but then I also looked up and to the left so there was no way we could see each other’s face. Whew that was a close one. The next time I looked back I noticed his hand was no longer in that spot…this means he definitely noticed he was touching my foot if at least for the moment I ripped it from his dainty clutches.
The real question is: did he sit there and think about how he’d have to write about it in his blog!?