My roommates have gone on a trip to Maine and so I am responsible for dealing with the cat. I am not a cat person. I don’t feed it, clean it’s sandy poop hut, brush it, or any of that. I will play with tease it as I pass through the house and that usually ends up with the cat biting me and then me either getting mad because I was just bit by a stupid thing that doesn’t even know its own name or with me taking my athsma medicine because I’m alergic to cats (but who can resist rubbing their fuzzy bellies?!).

Even though Since I’m not a cat person, I thought it would be good fun to journal how a non-cat person takes care of a cat. Also, I don’t really like posts about cats and I find people who really like their cats to be a little weird. Irony, folks.

I Get The Cat. Day 1:

5:00pm – I just got home from a 5 day trip and the cat just looked at me like I wasn’t even gone. There is no reason to believe that the cat, Grayson even noticed. Stupid cat.

9:00pm – I fed the cat. He acted all excited by rubbing his face on everything but when I gave him his food he ignored it. I don’t think this is his regular food.

9:20pm – I notice he’s pushed 1/2 the food onto the ground and I don’t think he’s eating it. Oh well. Goodnight.

11:45pm – I’m in the bathroom getting ready for bed. The cat pushes his way into the room and then jumps into the tub. He looks at the spout expectantly. No, I’m not turning on the water, freak.

11:47pm – I walk out of the bathroom and the cat darts across my legs and jumps in the keyboard case to hide. He thinks we’re going to play. Think again.

I Get The Cat. Day 2:

8:30am – I go down to feed the cat. I 1/2 expect there to be food in his dish, but it’s all gone. He still has water. He must get water from somewhere else in the house.

11:00am – I try to get the cat to bite me before I leave for my lunch meeting. Success.

4:45pm – I sit down to watch a movie. The cat moves from the dining room floor to living room. BORING!

9:45pm – I pull in the garage and through the screen door I can see the cat standing on his hind legs in the middle of the kitchen trying to figure out who is arriving home. It’s me. How exciting.

9:50pm – The water dish is bone dry. Oops. I decide to quickly wash the dish. I see a sticker on the dish saying the dish is microwavable safe. Why the heck would you microwave anything you want to feed a cat. Cat people must hate money. Wait a tick…why am I looking at new cat dishes anyway? That’s gotta be the 4th set. Was the cat complaining? What’s wrong with the old dishes?

The cat immediately starts drinking water when I put the dish down. I give him some food, he seems pretty happy about that.

10:53 – I realize that I should probably include some pics of the cat for this post. I’ll get on that tomorrow.

I Get The Cat. Day 3

8:40am – It’s time for a feeding. When get downstairs the cat walks up and then lays down on my foot. I’m too tired to bend down to pet him, so I just wiggle my toes. He immediately bites my foot. Awesome. Here’s your food. Smile for the camera!


5:58pm – The cat just meowed at me. That’s the first I’ve heard of him since this morning’s feeding. Right now he’s sitting on one of the dining room chairs, but other than that, he’s been sitting in the same exact spot for the whole day.

9:27pm – Evening feeding. Nothing to see here. I spilled his water a bit when I put it down and then after giving him the food he started wiping the water away like he didn’t want the mess. Of course he then immediately scooped a paw-ful of cat food onto the ground.

I Get The Cat. Day 4:

7:02am – I’m only giving the cat water as I get the coffee ready. But he sure is being snuggly. It’s pretty pathetic.

7:26am – now that my coffee is poured I’ll give the cat some food. He is purring like crazy. I think it’s finally sinking in (to the cat) that I am currently the only supplier of sustenance for the time being. He’s not really going for his food. He just furiously rubs his face on everything including my shoe.

2:46pm – I’m downstairs and the cat came out from one of his favorite spots to see if I’d play with him. Sorry dude, I’m off to go swimming.

10:34pm – I finally get home and feed the cat.

I Get The Cat. Day 5:

12:01am – I can hear the cat darting back and forth in the loft area. He’ probably playing with himself since nobody has played with him in 4 full days. He just meowed at me and then ran off. I’m going to go rub his tummy.

12:15am – The cat just jumped on my bed. Cat will henceforth be dismantled.

8:37am – feeding

8:47am – I’ve been feeling a bit bad about ignoring the cat for a few days, so I got out his toys for him to play with. He especially likes the catnip ball.

11:14am – I totally just picked up the cat and pet him for 20 seconds.

5:26pm – It seems like the can comes out every time I am around down stairs. This has resulted in more frequent pettings and I find myself talking to the cat like a moron. Also he was jealous of me sitting outside cutting my toe nails while he had to sit inside.

9:42pm – feeeeeeed meee.

I Get the Cat. Day 6 (Final Day)

8:52am – I’m on the phone and I can hear the cat bouncing around. I give him food, he purrs and rubs his face on things. He’s not eating his food, because he found a little toy mouse. Oh and here’s a pic of us having SO MUCH fun together.

10:55am – The cat visits me in the bathroom.

11:54am – The keeps plopping down in front of me.

11:55am – Let’s see if the can likes Cheetos. Nope. How about a piece of lunch meat? We have a winner!

12:04pm – The cat is getting a little comfortable with my lunch. Oh now he’s on the table! BAD KITTY! You better get down or you’ll be given away or incinerated!

not okay
touch it and I'll end you
Soon I'll have enough evidence to justify termination.

5:16pm – The cat is very interested in my running things out to my car. He’s sitting on the kitchen table and rubbing his face on the toolbox.

10:27pm – Final feeding before the roommates get home.


Overall, I’ve realized it doesn’t take much to take care of a cat. I didn’t clean out his litter box, because I knew Lucas would really enjoy that when he got home from his trip. I don’t want to hog ALL the fun. Anyway, the positive from my research is that you can almost completely ignore a cat and nothing bad will happen. You don’t have to pet it, give it toys, dangle a strand of yarn in front of it.

Unlike some dogs, a cat will not proceed to destroy your house if you don’t give it enough attention. But one has to wonder, with a “pet” so wonderfully independant of your attention and affection what is the point of keeping it in your house in the first place? Isn’t the point of a house pet to have an additional companion and friend? As far as I can tell, cats mostly use us for free food until they can figure out how to murder us (on a global scale) in our sleep. Do you think Grayson is declawed for the sake of the furniture? No, it’s for protection against possible and probable murderous intent.


5 thoughts on “I Get The Cat.

  1. have you checked out my FB page lately? You can see all sorts of cats and kittens — and maybe, just maybe if you enjoyed your cat-sitting experience SO MUCH — you can have one of mine from FB for FREE!!! 🙂

  2. Although I’m not a cat person (at all)..for some reason I find your feline journals should be a columnist (or something)

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