There are ways that people act on TV and movies that (I think) are unique to the screen. These would be things they take for granted and you maybe don’t think anything of it because it’s kind of par for the course and you know it’s not real. Here’s what I’m talking about.

1. People are always hanging up the phone without saying ‘goodbye.’

Now that I’ve brought it up and if you’ve never thought of it before, you’ll never watch this again without noticing. When a conversation on the phone is finished the folks just hang up without saying goodbye. Maybe it’s for dramatic effect, but I can’t seem to make myself do this. How do they know the conversation is over?!

Now if you tried it…

People would either think you are kind of a jerk or perhaps you have some mild case of aspergers. Usually when you hang up without a farewell greeting, it’s because you are mad or because your carrier is AT&T [zing!]. I’ve tried this several times and I just can’t bring myself to do it. If the other person says goodbye and you just hang up, they’ll probably call you back thinking you were disconnected 1.5 sentences ago. If you straight up hang up before any farewell, the person will think you are mad.

No mom, I wasn't mad. We talked about this...

2. They ask people out on dates…just like that.

If people really asked each other out like they did on TV, you would witness it a lot more. A show like Friends, for instance, always has one of the guys just spotting some random girl at the book store, coffee shop, train station, etc. and they’ll just go ask them out…JUST LIKE THAT?!

Now, if you tried it…

You would be rejected. A lot. I suppose it isn’t very exciting to show how a guy gets up the courage to finally ask out a girl that he’s known for a while. And it’s not romantic enough to show the guy who after pumping drinks into a free-loading hoochie at the bar makes a ridiculous proposition. Equally un-screen worthy would be the new phenomenon of internet dating. Does anyone even try this? I’m not sure if you’d get less dates because you’d come across as a creep who is desperate or if you’d get more dates because of the sheer volume of asking. Either way, you and I don’t do this.

3. They “peel out” whenever they drive away

Whether they are in a hurry or not, they almost always peel out or squeal the tires. Many times it includes when they are pulling in and screech to a stop. Those people on TV must have lead feet!

Now if you tried it…

You’d either be ridden with traffic violation citations or you’d be broke from constantly changing out tires and brakes. As it turns out, the public don’t really appreciate loud tire squealing. Also the police, who are excellent at charging you extra money just for being cool, have issues with rapid acceleration. For some reason, they don’t build cars to withstand the constant min/maxing of go and stop and if you drive like that you’ll be getting it serviced much more than you’d like.

I'm sorry sir, but we can't allow this much awesome on the road...

4. They look in mirrors and change their life around.

The best way to show that someone is doing some inner reflection is to show them literally looking at a reflection of themselves (usually in the bathroom mirror). And when that happens, woah look out, our character’s life is going to change. Now.

Now if you tried that…

Well you look in the mirror every day, I bet. If you tried to change your life around just by staring in a mirror you’ll likely find yourself disappointed. Change doesn’t usually come from a miraculous revelation but from the mental reinforcing of ideas [such as studying] and discipline of action. This one we probably have all tried at one point or another. You look in the mirror and think, ‘today I will do things differently,’ and then 5 minutes later you are STILL eating cake for breakfast.

5. They skip over the hard/boring parts of a skill or discipline with a montage.

Does our headstrong and barely literate amateur boxer need to win the championship? He’ll need to train for months! Give him an upbeat montage and you are good to go! This is a good device to show someone experiencing change over time without actually having to show the time (and a good montage gives you a real sense of time)

Now if you tried it…

Well you can’t. Live with it. If you’ve seen the movie Click with Adam Sandler you’ll know that they handle this concept in a creative way. Michael (Sandler) gets a magical tv remote that allows him to control his life like you would control a program on your DVR having the ability to pause, rewind, and turn down the volume. He finds out that fast forwarding through the boring parts of life is a good way to just skip to the good stuff. Only later he finds out that by doing this he misses out on life! They show this via a montage…do you see what they did there?!

if you’ve ever been to a real karate tournament you know first hand how long and boring it really is.

6. They give amazing death speeches.

Roooosebuuuud. 🙂 In the cases where someone’s famous last words weren’t a riddle, characters who get a final sentence say something awesome. Or at least they say something meaningful and heartfelt. Or they gurgle very dramatically.

Now if you tried it…

You’d probably have a few attempts at final words since I get the impression that dying people don’t really know if they are dying or not. And since modern medicine has allowed us to live until we are just a shell of our former selves the chances of being lucid up until the Good Lord calls you home are smaller. This is why you should write and write often. You should tell the ones you love that you love them more often. You can’t save the best words for last, but you can try to make all your words better.

I love you all! (just in case!)

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4 thoughts on “Things They Do In Movies [That You Rarely Do]

    1. Yeah! It’s always like, “pick me up at 8?” in real life it takes hours to decide what to do especially when people start saying, “I dont care what we do, I’m good with whatever…”

  1. I peel out in the Buick Regal all of the time, but it’s always dismissed by the cops because they probably think I’m an old fart who accidentally stomped on the gas looking for my dentures that slipped out of my mouth.

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