Facebook Spin-offs We Really Need.

It’s time for a new post complaining about the absurdity of social networking.

Hiding people on Facebook just isn’t cutting it anymore. Everyone is getting so creative with ways to be super annoying. Here’s a proposed list of Facebook spin-offs that would help direct people to the proper portals for their posting tendencies.

1. facebook [baby] – this is where new mothers/fathers who’ve gone insane can blubber with their parents and inlaws about the latest COMPLETELY NORMAL and extremely boring thing their baby just did.

That's right. Nobody cares you cute wittle snookums.

2. facebook [quotes] – can’t think of anything to say? Just copy what someone else said! Or maybe you are one of those people that when reading a book and a sentence pops out at you, you believe you might be the only person in the world to notice and that the rest of the world NEEDS to also read it (through you). This portal would be perfect for you. Oh, I almost forgot – you can straight up spam this portal with a lyric of each an every song you listen to.

3. facebook [hacked] – you can totally click here and see who has been viewing your page! I can’t quite figure out why you want to know who is looking at your page, but I think it’s dang funny that you wanted to know so badly that you now have a virus on your hard drive (and you still don’t know who is viewing your profile – other than the guy who is hacking you).

...now which one of these is The Facebook?

4. facebook [weather] – *sigh* Nobody, I mean nobody, cares what you think about this weather. Except on facebook [weather]! You can cry, criticize, complain, and celebrate whatever random weather pattern we have and you’ll find others doing the same. exact. thing.

wow...nobody saw that coming

5. facebook [terrible photos] – we all take them. we all post them. Wouldn’t it be great to have a single location to dump them all? The way it is now, you have to sift through 20 blurry iphone pics just to find the cute one of your nephew.

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4 thoughts on “Facebook Spin-offs We Really Need.

    1. You know what, Jason? I’ve been thinking about writing this post for like 2 months now. Every time I went over these in my head I always thought about sports and my disdain for their constant presence on facebook…and somehow I just FORGOT to write it last night.

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