Clipper Magazine is a local print that solely features advertising for area stores and businesses. Sometimes these ads are particularly bad. Here are some of them.
Advertising: books and back to school sales
Problem: As a rule of thumb, you should only feature cats in advertising if you are trying to sell cats, cat food, or cat accessories. Obviously, cats don’t read and unless you are my grandmother this kind of ad CANNOT be effective.
2. EXPLODING WITH SAVINGS!
Advertising: plastic surgery
The Problem: I honestly can’t look at this page for more than 5 seconds without turning my eyes away from all the confusion. Why did they choose to design this piece with so many of those sunbursts? What exactly are they trying to highlight? My eyes skip around from sunburst to sunburst until I just can’t take it anymore.
3. PROBABLY RACIST
Advertising: Window well covers.
The Problem: Why not show the strength of their covers in the context of something with a common perceived weight? I have not idea what two Latino children on a pony weigh or even if that is heavy. Am I to be impressed? Also, are they saying Latino children are always horsing around? Again, there’s absolutely no context for the image composition and since it is neither humorous nor ironic one must assume that nobody over at Well Covered knows what they are doing with advertising.
4. BEFORE AND AFTER. NO?
Advertising: Weight loss via medical consult
The Problem: Maybe the most effective tool of any weight loss ad is the before and after photos (more on that later). So when you want to sell weight loss and feature a side by side photo people are going to assume the photo is a before and after. The above ad messes it all up. They show the doctors rather than what kind of results you could get BUT they make sure to use two photos that make the doctors look like the same exact person. Aside from their hair lines, these guys could be twins. You have to figure in a magazine that has a hundred ads I’m going to give two or three seconds of glance at each ad. Make sure I don’t focus on the wrong thing.
5. UNNECESSARY BABY HAZARD
Advertising: Overhead storage
The Problem: What the heck is that baby doing there? What if during the photo shoot that woman had fallen or the storage racks had collapsed. Seems like a bad idea to have the baby in this situation when it doesn’t have anything to do with garage storage. Also, would they perform this stunt if those bins and containers were full of the kinds of things people actually put in garages? You know, heavy stuff? Probably not. So the point of the storage being so rugged it can handle storage plus idiots hanging from it is made moot since the storage bins are probably empty.
6. BEFORE AND “AHHH DON’T LOOK DIRECTLY AT IT’S EYES!”
Advertising: Chiropractic and body sculpting (how many procedures can these people invent?)
The Problem: The first picture is clearly a middle aged woman under lighting conditions that show the natural contrast of her facial features. The second picture is so washed out by the lighting that she actually looks worse. She kind of reminds me of Ursala from the Little Mermaid. You know, the squid lady. So either these pictures were taken one after the other with the second utilizing a bad flash OR the results of facial sculpting are less than stellar.
7. THE CAMERA SLIPPED
The Problem: What exactly am I supposed to be seeing here? The van? The guys carry the window? The house? The sky? Nothing in this picture is framed correctly and unfortunately your eyes are likely directed first to the yellow van which has the name of the company cut off, or the blank expanse of sky. This photo was the centerpiece of a 3 page spread. Lesson learned: just because someone’s brother has a nice camera it doesn’t mean he should be the one for the photo shoot.
8. INSULTING YOUR INTELLIGENCE
Advertising: weight loss
The Problem: There are 3 main issues. First of all, in the before picture you can’t tell if she looks any different than her enlarged professional shot. I’m not looking at this attractive woman in black and thinking wow what a fat cow she needs to lose weight. Second, the bikini photo has some had some serious (and bad) Photoshop work done on it. It’s a pretty controversial issue and for weight loss advertising it seems unfair that they aren’t being truthful. Third, what’s with the pictures of food? You don’t fill your diet with pasta, ice cream, pizza, and muffins and expect to lose weight. In fact its those exact foods that likely got you to feeling like you could shed a few pounds anyway.
9. SEX SELLS…CABINETS
The problem: There’s no real problem here except this makes me laugh. Since it’s not trying to be funny, I suppose that doesn’t make it very effective. But picture that couple featured in an ad for Viagra or something. Then it totally fits, right? But as it stands it’s like they are saying if you get new cabinets then your wife will probably have sex with you…on the cabinets.