It’s Curtains for Me…

I decided to put up curtains in my bedroom. My room faces East, so each morning I have to deal with the sun making a joke of my cellular blinds. I like it dark when I sleep. So I went to T***** to get something to block the unwanted light.

I’ve never hung curtains before so I knew I would learn a few new things. I came home with curtains, a rod, and high hopes for a new look in my bedroom. I figured it would be a breeze since the packaging on the curtain rod suggested a 30 min installation time. Here’s what I learned.

Lesson #1: It takes longer than 30 minutes.

It took me more like 2 hours. The curtain rod packaging had everything laid out in about 4 simple steps. These are the steps they left out:

a. search the garage for your roommate’s drill. (5 min)

b. search the garage a second time for the drill bits. (3 min)

c. go get that step ladder you forgot in the garage. (2 min)

d. WHY DOESN’T THIS TOOLBOX HAVE A PHILIPS HEAD SCREWDRIVER?!?!?! (1o min)

e. oh there it is… (1 min)

f. return to store and exchange the curtain rod for one that is the correct size for your window. (30 min)

g. install the second drape rod. (30 min…maybe)

h. clean up the mess you just made. (pending)

I’ve made the following chart to help you understand the timing of curtain hanging a little better.

tpac research

Now provided the normal installation steps go smoothly (they don’t) you’ll be set!

Lesson #2: Drywall anchors could bring down the walls of Jericho.

I drilled the pilot holes to the correct specifications. I then noticed the drywall anchors are 10 times bigger than the pilot. I couldn’t screw them in by hand, so I had to use the power drill. The first anchor screwed all the way in and then the top twisted off snapping the rest inside the hole. The second went in 90% and pulled 10% of the wall out toward me. The third anchor couldn’t go in far enough because I hit one of the metal screws used to mount the preexisting cellular blinds – geez. The fourth went in but not without a fight and a crumbly, cracking mess. The final two went in and were almost flush with the wall.

it's been a problem for centuries

I couldn’t believe the destruction I had just caused. Surely it can go easier than that! The second time I hung the rod, I just left the anchors in the package. This worked better in every way imaginable.

Lesson #3: “Double Panel” means there’s two.

I bought two packages because on the back it said that I needed “two panels.” It didn’t say “you need a double panel package – in other words this one package is fine.” Why would they call it a double panel and then the very next line say you needed two panels. I realize it means the same thing but I was shocked when I opened the first package and found two curtains. I didn’t need two, I needed one double panel. I had to return the other package which was okay because…

Lesson #4: You should pay close attention to the dimensions listed on the box.

Otherwise, you might buy a rod that at its shortest length is a good 2 feet longer than your window. This will lead you to repack that rod and try not to look suspicious when you are at the guest services counter returning what only looks like an unopened package.

Lesson #5: Some sunlight is good.

At least that’s what I’ve been telling myself since I pulled the drapes shut and realized that they only blocked about 1/2 of what I was expecting.

not pictured: darkness

Lesson #6: I’m a better cook than drape hanger.

I whipped up a few salmon fillets and brussel sprouts in 30 min. I didn’t have to return anything, and I didn’t cause any damage to the stove, utensils, plates, or table. Mess is pending.

I'm the only one I know that likes brussel sprouts
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4 thoughts on “It’s Curtains for Me…

  1. There is such as thing as room darkening curtains. They are very thick, lined with some sort of material. They are not always very attractive however. I like your curtains, but don’t tug on them too hard because without the wall anchors, the whole thing might pull out of the wall. I never put up the rods, I just direct your dad as he does it, and it takes him a while to do it as well. He loves doing it (sarcasm)! I do hang the curtains, however.

    Wow! All those years of pushing basketballs at dinner have paid off.

  2. I think my parents were down to visit when we put up our curtains, which made it much easier. 30 minutes is a low estimate for any household project in my opinion. It seems that there’s always something waiting to go wrong.

    I also love brussels sprouts, but I don’t know anyone else who does. They are my treat if my wife is out and I’m eating alone.

  3. I also like brussels sprouts, but I like to coat them in fresh garlic and olive oil and then broil them. This is the way I get Deven to like them too

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